


... (is a long time)

by aintitfun



Series: how to cope (vent fics) [3]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mania, Mental Health Issues, Queerplatonic Relationships, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22915465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintitfun/pseuds/aintitfun
Summary: Tyler’s self injury wasn’t a new thing. It had just been such a long time since it last happened.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Series: how to cope (vent fics) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852561
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	... (is a long time)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Self harm/self injury implied and referenced. please stay safe.

_I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t know how to stop this._

Josh tried to keep up with the flurry of text messages coming to his phone from Tyler. Tyler was manic and having a rough time keeping their head above metaphorical waters.

_I don’t know if i can keep this up. I’m always going. I’m always busy. I love it but i hate it. Everything is moving too fast and too slow. I don’t know how to make it stop._

Josh focused on his breathing as he made the drive to his friend’s house. Both of them being a panicked mess wouldn’t help anyone. 

_I want to see blood. Jesus Christ it’s been so long. It’s the only thing i haven’t tried. It’s the only thing that helps. God, josh I’m trying so hard. Do you think anyone can tell?_

Josh gripped the steering wheel and counted to six with one breath in and another six with one breath out. They’ve made it through this before. They’ll be able to do it again.

————-

Josh gently opens the door to the younger man’s home and braces himself for what he might find. He makes his way down the hallway into Tyler’s room to find his friend sorting dirty laundry. Josh picked up a stray sock and began to help divide the piles into white, light, and dark clothing. Tyler only did this when they were manic. They only did this when they needed to focus. It felt ritualistic. It provided a sense of calm.

They moved along side each other, in sync as usual. Tyler was the first to speak. “Do you really think that sorting your clothes to wash makes a difference?”

Josh chuckled lightly. “As long as you don’t end up with a lone red sock that turns everything pink, I think you’re fine.” The pair locked eyes for a brief moment, Josh taking note of the slight smile on Tyler’s face.

After sorting through all of the dirty laundry, they filed down to the basement to load the washer. Josh stood beside Tyler as the younger man piled in the white clothes piece by piece. Josh noticed a series of bandaids on Tyler’s left wrist. He looked away quickly, rubbing circles with his thumb onto the palm of his right hand. “Ty, I’m gonna go heat up water for tea. Do you want any?” Tyler nodded, not looking up from the machine. 

Josh took the steps up to the main floor two at a time, in an attempt to dislodge the thoughts of Tyler’s relapse from his mind to no avail. His mind felt foggy as he turned on the stove for the tea kettle. Tyler’s self injury wasn’t a new thing. It had just been such a long time since it last happened. Josh had forgotten how the sunken feeling in the pit of his stomach would make his taste buds sour. He tried his best not to be upset, but he always felt guilty, like he wasn’t doing enough to aid his friend with their struggles.

Tyler reached over Josh’s shoulder to move the now screaming teapot. They pulled two mugs from the cupboard and gestured to Josh with both, suggesting for him to pick one or the other. Josh pointed at the one with spaceships printed on it and Tyler chuckled. "You’re predictable Dun.” They placed the mugs on the counter and placed a gentle kiss to Josh’s temple. 

Josh felt the tears begin to swell and his attempts to hold them back were of no use. He wanted to be strong for Tyler, but sometimes he just felt scared. Tyler wrapped their arms around the older man, letting his tears press constellations into their tshirt. Sometimes Tyler wished their scars compared if even a little bit, but they knew one was the cause of the other. 

————-

The pair sat next to each other on the couch, letting the old school cartoons play in the background. Slowly, their bodies melted into one another and they were lulled to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> first fic in two years. wrote instead of doing the thing. growth? maybe. doubt it.


End file.
